Saturday 26 August 2023

Yes, I am still not famous.

 
On query letters, podcasts and fatherhood

I've been spending some time listening to a podcast on writing, where three women critique query letters by hopeful writers. I've liked and hated it; the letters are basically all follow the same format; here's my genre, my word count, what the story is about and who the comparables are (meaning similar books). Blah blah blah about the arc of the story, a little bit about me to humanize me and the first 5 pages of a manuscript are critiqued. 

I'm in a love/hate mood with it. First I don't love that of the 10 critiques I've listened to, every query letter has been by women. Second, I don't love that (spoiler) I sent out 5 intro letters to my top five specific agents a three weeks ago and not a word. I hesitate to call them query letters as they weren't for one book specifically, but a pitch for all of them. I also don't love that none of those intro letters were like what these ladies would want. 

I do love most of the advice; clock in around 400 words; careful of comparing yourself to 'famous' authors, which is a bit difficult because I like to read the more tried and true. I'm no Kurt Vonnegut but I sure am influenced by him. Grab the reader at the start, show character arcs in your summary.

Anyways, the podcast has given me some ambition to look at my marketing again. The only one I feel is a slam-dunk of a one-liner is my current manuscript but the way it's going, it won't be for another year at least. 


Which brings me to a short topic about prioritizing and fatherhood. 


I annually hate myself when my birthday roles around, reminding me of pledge I made when I was 40 to get published. It's 12 years later and I still haven't achieved that goal. I totally get that a lot of it is on me; nobody is rushing to find someone who isn't making it easy to find. But a small epiphany- part of this delay in life goals is, yes, fear of success but it is also the responsibility of parenting. 

I spent an hour today teaching my 10 year old how to play Risk, 30 minutes of him explaining a detailed map he drew. We made Kraft Dinner together. Last night, my 14 year old asked me to sit with her on the couch and we watched TV (9-9!) for a couple of hours. I've spent hours this summer ripping up weeds and replanting my lawn as it gave me a sense of completion and honestly, will make our home look better as my wife and I grow older here. Nobody else was going to do it. I've also spent many hours not with the kids, doing other things to avoid writing, which is such a cliche but it's true. It's so easy not to write and I hate myself when I don't, when I listen to podcasts of others who are that much closer than I am, Some were mothers and I wonder how their support system is; where their kids are. I read Danielle Steele has nine kids and has written 94 books. That sounds impossible on both counts. Nine kids? Where does she find the time to be a mother. Then I think, she likely doesn't. Now I've never read any of her books and likely never will but I'm envious of her output.  That's a dedication to the art I simply don't have in me.   

Yes, I could have used all those hours to write, not write, promote myself, draft query letters, get closer to my dream. Instead, I CHOSE (and I have to remember this) to be a good father, dad, husband. They come first, usually always come first and that is nothing to be ashamed of. No matter how litle I write in a day or week.

Families are what we make them.    

Sunday 23 July 2023

My Next WoP/Passion Project

 


Everyone has some type of passion project. For me, my passion is not finishing my passion project. But I am working on it. 

We all need dreams. I've rekindled mine of sorts, been spending a few hours a day over the last two weeks trying to print out this mess of a dystopian legal thriller novel which I envisioned over a year and a half ago. I know this because, thanks to Google Docs, it keeps a version history of my works in progress. 

I think I found the original seed of this epic novel; it's from Jan 7, 2022. Over a year and a half ago. Crazy. 

It is a meeting of potential sexual assault victims to create consensus of filing a lawsuit against a dolphin and the company that manages it. A lot of the original guts is there; five victims, an official rep from the company, at the time called Playa De Blanca; it's now a global vacation conglomerate called Great Holidays. 

Two nights ago I night-dreamed of finding out the names of the agents of my top 10 favourite contemporary authors and sending off a query letter for representation. I had a good start in my head to the letter; giving two examples of roads to success, the one told to Michael J. Fox by his father when he wanted to become an actor and the one told to Kermit the Frog by Gonzo in the original Muppet Movie when he wanted to do the same thing. 

I'm basically the Great Gonzo of writing. 


It was a good letter in my head. Here's hoping I will follow up on it. But first, edit and print one more chapter, which was really the first chapter i ever wrote and is now tentatively Chapter 18 of many...

Saturday 13 May 2023

A Secret that Rocks the Literary World, if they only knew about it.

 

Wow. So many months since my last entry. That's because of all the press I am doing around my other projects is really cutting into this side project. Perhaps if I just admitted that jay royston is a pseudonym for the real me, a few more admiring fans may take an interest in this blog. 

But for them to take an interest, they'd need to bite the worm, which if you've read this far, you have. 

I believe this is called catfishing. I apologize to the real jay royston for appropriating your name and wonderful sense of humor in making this blog. I trust you like a good joke and won't sue. 

So who am I?

Here's your first hint; I have a coffee in front of me. It contains 2 spoons of sugar and some cream, maybe one, maybe two. So cross off everyone you know who drinks it black, or black with sugar. 

Still unsure?

The second hint is I have written 3 (maybe more) fan letters/email to authors of books I have read. There may be more but I don't really keep track of these things. I think if I told you who those authors were, you'd be too close to my real identity. However, I will say that one author was also a pseudoymn and wasn't an elderly wise Jeff Lebowski-type dude but more of a young Jeffrey Lebowski-type dude who wore seasonal Xmas sweaters instead of housecoats. 


I think that is enough hints for now. I shall enter my next set of clues in about 15 months time, in keeping with my current updating the blog schedule. 




Sunday 29 August 2021

I levelled up in adulting.

 

I earned myself a 12 foot aluminum fishing boat last year, doing it the old-fashioned way, bartering it from an obese neighbour who couldn't assist me in the building or paying of a shared fence. The boat had sat on an old utility trailer in the back corner of his yard and to which we stared at for the last five years, and after the bartering, found out it had sat there for twenty. 

I spent most of last summer rebuilding the trailer from the frame up, because also when you are an adult, you should have a utility trailer (caveat, you don't need one if you don't have property). So I rebuilt the trailer and spent this summer slowly migrating the boat from our back yard to the top of the trailer. I also needed to invest in a means of propulsion, for despite it also coming with a 7hp 45 year old outboard motor, I felt an electric motor would be more suited for my needs; specifically a quiet trolling speed. 

So for my 50th, I bought an electric boat motor and a battery to go with it. I also bought a fishing license, which is like an official ticket to enjoy the bounties of nature. 

I have used the boat twice this summer, which is a 200% increase over last year. I have taught my boy the ritual of the Fisherman's Club, which is to jump overboard and pee while holding onto the side of the boat. He enjoys doing that. I have learned that the slower it goes, the longer the battery life. I have learned rowing is not as easy as it looks in the movies.

I have yet to catch a fish. 

But I have a boat. 

I levelled up. 

yay. 


In other news, I was informed an ex-girlfriend of mine died last year of a brain aneurysm while running. She was 49 and one of those women who seemed larger than they were; who brought joy and laughter and excitement into my life and then when she left, it killed a part of me. She was someone who showed me how joyous life could be but I equated that to only being possible if she was there to point it out to me. I wrote poetry for her, wrote a short novella also about her that nobody has ever read. She was my first reader and my poetry made our relationship last maybe... two months longer? I can't exactly remember. However long it was, it wasn't enough for me, more than enough for her. It took a long time for me to get over her but that's on me. Life goes on until it doesn't.

I can only imagine how much laughter she and her husband for over two decades and I am sad to hear her life-timer is over. Just recently I had used her as an example to my daughter in a discussion about careers. My daughter had chosen 'computer designer' or something that sounded so establishment/stereotypical. My ex, on the other hand, 25 years earlier, told me she would love to be a do-wop girl, one of those girls in the background singing the ooohs and ahhhs while the singer did their thing. I loved that thought, someone not wanting to be the one in the spotlight, but instead being in the background, experiencing her own dream as she doo-wopped her way through life. 

She never did become a background singer, but I'm sure she helped so many others in her joy, laugh and smile, do-wopping through life. Here's to you, SJ. 

Monday 2 August 2021

CoVid - A Year of Memories


 

I have this picture on my phone, a screenshot I took March 3, 2020 which mentions a virus death toll reaches 9.  

I think I took the screenshot because I thought it odd this virus (out of China) would make international news, make it all the way to this little corner of the Okanagan. 

The same screen shot shows a headline about a tornado that killed at least 22. 

So yeah, that was a pretty big jump in two weeks. But still, why would there be that mention 2 weeks earlier when it was only 9?

Things took a pretty big dump soon after. I recall there was a weird/funny rush on toilet paper; videos of Costco TP going as fast as the workers could unload them. A lady at work had a husband that worked there and confirmed that was what was going on.  

Then my next screenshot is on March 18, 2020 stating the total, now called Coronavirus worldwide as 8,969. 


According to Wikipedia, BC's first CoVid related death happened March 5th (a man in his 80s)

I believe Canada effectively shut down on March 17th, meaning for us, that the kids would be on an extended Spring Break.

We pretty much went full stop. I drove into town and it the roads were quiet; it felt like Christmas Day or a summer morning at 5am. So little movement.

In the days to follow, Trudeau announced the CERB, malls, restaurants (barring drive-thru), airlines, travel all shut down. 

I recall thinking we were becoming really societally stupid when the District closed off all open spaces (like our local 10 acre dog park) with caution tape (due to CoVid). Then when it did open up, they had wrapped up the park benches with tape as well despite no evidence. NO SITTING! Because someone, without any scientific proof, hypthesized that this airborne virus lurked on every surface; you could catch it simply by sitting on a common bench or god forbid, reading a book from a public library. 

While everyone was worried about their jobs, their bills, many utility companies put up a deferred payment plans for 6 months. Mortgage holders, those Big Banks, gracefully allowed mortgage payments to be deferred for 6 months (interest still accumulating) but no ding on your credit history. Soon complaints began of the stupidly long wait times to try to arrange this with said banks because they were all closed, due to CoVid.  

Yet our town's Garden centers remained open (for mental health) which meant Rona/Home Depot/Walmart opened their doors to limited customers, making many wait in line-ups outside as they hurried to buy paint and materials for long-neglected home renovations. Smaller businesses complained to deaf ears about why they had to be closed, about how this all just helped big business, like usual. The rich got richer. McDonald's staff risked their lives so we could order our coffees and chicken nuggets, every time wondering if this would be our last meal, served to us by minimum wage people with no health insurance while we praised all the hospital staff in their overly-sanitized buildings and layers of PPE who were willing to put their lives on the line while waiting for the rush of virus victims who (must stress that this is in my small town) failed to materialize.  

Then George Floyd was gradually choked to death by a cop who must have known he was being  recorded and shit really started to get crazy again down south. Nobody cared about CoVid. Cops were not your friends. Riots happened, shit got real, many people were breaking the 6ft radius rule and the focus changed. Trump continued to do shitty Trump things, with only half of America caring, the other half cheering. 

I questioned not the number of deaths, but the age. Of nearly 11,000 fatal cases in Canada, around 300 were not in care homes. That didn't make the news as much as I believe it should have. 

I have consistently said the people dying were elderly and yes, it's bad and they deserve to die with dignity and being able to see their loved ones but they weren't. Last words were done by Zoom. It was shitty. Yet people still said no contact. 

The average age of Canadians who died of COVID-19 in 2020 is 83.8 years. By comparison, the average age at death in Canada in 2019 was 76.5 years. Life expectancy is 82.1

RegionDeaths, due to COVID-19Average age at death, due to COVID-19Crude death rate, due to COVID-19Life expectancy in 2019
numberin yearsper thousandin years
Canada15,65183.80.4182.10

Even with CoVid, the average age at death has increased! 

Life expectancy at birth (LEB) in Canada in 2020 is still unknown, but it will likely be lower compared with previous years. Deaths caused by COVID-19 contributed to an estimated reduction in LEB of 0.41 years in 2020. Compared to the life expectancy of 82.10 years observed in 2019, this decrease of 0.41 years would reduce LEB to what it was six years earlier, in 2013 (81.68 years).

We are now expected to live FOUR less months than expected due to CoVid. 

For the record, I'm not against vaccines but it was sure convenient when Pfizer announced they had developed one Nov 12, 5 days after the too-close-to-call-but-probably-Biden American election (spoiler alert; Biden officially won Dec 14 according to the electoral college, which was also the date the first American vaccine was given).

Pfizer is an American pharmaceutical company. Moderna is as well. Coincidence.

We were warned of a second wave and everyone had to go through the motions again; but with much more mask wearing. Summer ended and schools/indoors/restaurants/cops all had to wear masks. A lot of fights were shared on social media of people not wearing masks vs people who said they had to. 

 Then we all had to have vaccines! Social lepers if you didn't. Talk of Vaccine passports, mandatory return to work vaccinations. 

Gas went down to 96 cents, as nobody was driving to and from work anymore. Some front line workers (such as nurses) were hailed as Gods, as they awaited the in rush of dying that for most smaller cities never came. Other front line workers (such as cashiers in grocery stores) received a temporary $2 'danger pay' raise. Other front line workers (such as at your local 7/11 or McDonald's drive-thru received nothing). 

At my firehall, we stopped weekly practices, were told to wear hazmat suits, including face shields and taped up gloves to prevent exposure on any calls we attended. I grew a small beard instead. 

In June 2020, school started again, attendance optional. Teachers learned Zoom while also working on a Day1/Day2 schedule for kids who attended. Most parents kept their kids at home. 

It was rumoured CoVid was carried by kids (who would show no symptoms) so anything they touched, could be infected by CoVid, which resulted in much wiping and hand-sanitizing; in my school our hand-washing schedule was; once before school, once entering, once leaving for recess, once returning, once when going to the gym, once when leaving the gym, wiping desks before and after lunch. God help you if you coughed. And yes, we were all supposed to stay six feet from each other. 

It was stupid time to be alive. But we did it. 

In April, 2020, somebody in the Maritimes dressed up as a cop and killed 22 people on a weekend murder spree; surprising everyone who thought those type of things happened only in the US. 

That's all I can think of for now. 

I'm still not vaccinated but likely will be in the coming year as my mom has paid for accomodations in Hawaii for us to celebrate her postponed 70th birthday. 

It is now July of 2021, the mask mandate is over, 70% of us have been vaccinated but that isn't stopping the Delta Variant which for all I can tell, still continues to kill older people that have lived past their average life span. 

And oh yeah, the Okanagan is once again completely covered by smoke, much like 2017. It just feels worse this year. 

Update July 28, 2023, : my last CoVid Count post;