Thursday 25 July 2013

Dads are Real People Too Who Like(d) to watch movies without animals once.

Dads; Fiction vs Reality


I know who this is, I just don't have the time to care.

Cuz Dads are people too, we like to watch movies. We used to watch movies too. Not just any movies, but real movies that don't involve magical ponies, tweens in striped shirts or cheap-ass toys that are available for a limited time only at the local fast food/bad parenting restaurant/day care.

I miss staying up late, being able to watch a full movie in it's entirety without hovering over the pause button. I know that one day I will be able to do this again, and maybe perhaps have in-depth discussions about what the definition of a 'classic' movie is and a 'retro' movie is with my kids. I'll get upset when they refer to Harry Potter or Madagascar 2 as being in the former category and 'Red Dawn' and 'Donnie Darko' being in the latter. Then I will have to take a deep breath and try not to weep for their generation when they say things like "Who is Patrick Swayze?" or "Star Wars Episode 10 is the best movie of all time."

So for now I have to live with the films or pop culture TV shows that I wish I could see but for that little 4 year old leg I can see around the corner, my daughter 95% out of sight but still quite impressionable and not yet ready for the gun-smacking ways of the Avengers or the nuanced script-crafting of Arrested Development. When I see that leg I have to stop the movie and take her back to bed, tuck her back in and hope that she doesn't start swearing tomorrow. Then I will go back to the movie but when it's halfway over I will find myself feeling too tired to keep watching and instead promise myself I will watch it tomorrow. Or the next day, I tell myself. Right after I empty the dishwasher, do some writing, clean up outside, or one of the dozens of other things I could be doing to keep our house productive and functioning at a level that hopefully will allow our children to grow up without trying to kill us or deal meth out of the furnace room.  

Wednesday 24 July 2013

Cuz Dads do Other Things Too. Like read.

For the simpler times of Lance Lewis, Space Detective.

The Original Bender?
To use a line from my 4 yr old daughter; 'Once, a long, long time ago, when I was three...'

Dad likes to read. I don't get to as much lately, what with the whole 'Dad' thing but I'm not complaining. I still get my time in the library/toilet with only the occasional knock on the door from my kids or wife asking what I'm doing.
"Shhhh," I say, "it's Daddy's quiet time."

Right now, I am reading two books, one a Science fiction short stories book called 'Tomorrow - The Stars' which i picked up because of a Kurt Vonnegut story in there and another book by John Perkins: 'Tale of an Economic HitMan' - a true telling of how the US deliberately encouraged 3rd world countries to borrow money for needed infrastructure at ridiculously high repayment rates, keeping them forever indebted to the US and never actually giving said countries autonomous freedom.

Or as I like to think 'Tomorrow never comes'
That looks suspiciously like Bono with a briefcase.
    


It's a fascinating read that explores the relationship the US has with Saudi Arabia before 9/11 - a country that was so elitist that it had goats eating their garbage because no 'Saud' was expected to stoop so low as to collect garbage. After the oil crisis of 1973 (due to Israeli sympathies, OPEC brought the price of oil up to over $8.00 a barrel), it was decided that the US and Saudi Arabia needed to strengthen their relationship to avoid such an incident happening again. Perkins formulated the plan that would allow American companies ( such as Waste Management Inc) to contract the 'undesirable jobs' and also have other companies (Halliburton) be contracted to provide defense for Saudi Arabia and it's modernizing economy from the extremist Islamics on their borders. By having Saudi Arabia purchase American bonds to pay for these contracts, it side-stepped the need for the American Government (and people) to be informed of how America was shaping Mid-East policy.

That's the story so far. I'm just getting to Iran in the 70's but it's been an easy, interesting read and I recommend it for those that are disturbed by Edward Snowden, the NSA, Bradley Manning and basically US foreign policy.

Well that was a serious digression. Let's just talk about good boobs.

Wednesday 17 July 2013

Replay of a 50 year old grudge match - CFL style!

There have been many rivalries that have spilled over into the public forum over the decades. It is said (by people who are completely wrong) that World War 2 started over the loss of a soccer ball that was never returned to it's rightful owners. Small towns throughout North America have stories of local gangs (or 'teams' as their PR department prefers to call them) meeting up long after the game is over to settle grudges that should have been kept on the field or ice. Boxers once were quite famous for attempting to beat each other up before they even were supposed to fight each other in the ring.

But you would be hard pressed to find a stranger, longer-lasting rivalry between these 2 CFL legends, Joe Kapp (the skinny one) and Angelo Mosca, 2 Canadian warriors from the old days before electricity and TSN was invented.

They went at it toe to geriatric toe at a CFL alumni luncheon a couple of years ago; a public relations coup for the Grey Cup party being held that week. At a time when most old people are just waiting to die, these two are still fighting because...damn it, they're CFL'r's. That's the way they roll....


Apparently this may have had something to do with Hamilton's 21-10 win over B.C. in the 1963 Grey Cup, when Mosca delivered a controversial hit that knocked Lions star running back Willie Fleming out of the game. This was the last time in CFL history that 'Hamilton' and 'Grey Cup' and 'win' was used.

Personally, I loved their comments here after the fight was broken up;

"Somebody hit me on the side of the head with a cane — a club — so I had to respond," Kapp said. "I don't think there's any person anywhere that wouldn't respond the way I did."

I love how he says 'somebody'. There was only 1 person on that stage with a cane and Kapp apparently has already forgotten who it was.  Plus, you know who wouldn't respond that way, Mr. Kapp?  Someone 73 years old!  

Then, there's the other side of the story, the guy who got one-punched:


Mosca said things got heated after he had a "dead-ass flower" shoved in his face.
"I don't care if you're the King or the Queen, you're not going to shove something in my face and get away with it," Mosca said from his Hamilton home.

Man, I feel sorry for his grandkids trying to give him presents. Seems a bit silly to try to lead with a cane unless you are Daredevil, it's a dead giveaway that you probably aren't the most stable of people while standing.    


Tuesday 9 July 2013

Hockey's over. Bring on the CFL (Primer edition)

One word 3 syllables (2 if you are from Newfoundland); sea-eff-ull.

The Canadian Football League. Canada's summer sport. The hidden jewel of the North, a place where grown men are allowed to wear tight pants and try to hurt each other for probably less than what you make annually.  It's a league where you only get 3 downs to make 10 yards, there's a crazy amount of ways to get points, there's an extra man on the field, you play for North America's oldest trophy, the Grey Cup, and lastly - you have bigger balls. That's the CFL in one paragraph.


It's that other sport that falls far back of Canada's radar while the Stanley Cup Playoffs are on, falling somewhere behind the Toronto Blue Jays and just ahead of competitive hot dog eating (which were both featured on tonight's sports highlights). Apparently we are already into Week 3 of the CFL so we have some catching up to do.

Most know it as 'the other football league' where if you can't make it in the NFL or at the least on their practice rosters it's where you hope to keep the dream alive enough to not move to Europe where legend has it another NFL existed (or still exists).


Maybe you are one of the growing number that have turned away from the NHL and are looking for cheaper, more local/patriotic entertainment. Maybe you are an unemployed American football player who came to Canada to try out a little of the local marijuana and not get shot for being black. Or maybe you are just killing time waiting for the bus and a poster caught your eye. Maybe you are just waiting for the NHL comes back or at the very least opens up Training Camp, which is probably next week.

Here is a quick test or study primer for the 8 teams that make up the CFL (and the alphabet):

Sunday 7 July 2013

NHL Marketing Changing Team's Colours. Chaos to follow for sports commentators.


A new proto-type graphic for next year's NHL;

Like it? GARY BETTMAN thinks you will!

So, you know that saying 'Don't Mess With A Good Thing'? Apparently neither does the NHL marketing department, led by GARY BETTMAN. Next year could see the classic red uniforms of the Detroit Red Wings and the orange of the Philadelphia Flyers 'swapped' for divisional rivals St. Louis Blues and Boston Bruins, respectively. I don't get those rivalries, but I don't get anything about the NHL these days... Pictures after the break.

Friday 5 July 2013

The NHL Free Agent Frenzy is Neither Free nor a Frenzy...

Thanks to GARY BETTMAN, there has been literally no time for Patrick Kane to sober up long enough to realize it's now July.  Head off the heels of the NHL delivering one of the best Stanley Cup series since 2010, a span of THREE long years TSN (Toronto's Sports Network) jumped right into Draft Day mode and barely having time to take down those Nathan McKinnon pin-ups hockey analysts now are getting all us worked up over this year's free agent frenzy, which for some reason is 2 days this year instead of 1? I'm not sure i understood that but...whatever keeps us tuned in and away from CFL news.

Random Notes because fuck it, it's summer;


Is it really a Frenzy or 'Say Who Now?' - When TSN is saying that David Clarkson is one of the biggest names to hit free agency this year it makes me wonder 1) who is David Clarkson and 2) what is TSN's criteria for 'biggest' names?
10 players living in fear they may have to rent out their pool house next year to afford payments on their summer homes had more points than David Clarkson, including Mike Ribeiro who had 49 points to Clarkson's 24...just saying. Iginla is sitting at #6, behind Ribeiro.

Tuesday 2 July 2013

The Winners and Losers of Draft Weekend in the NHL



Let's get the obvious out of the way; if you live in Canada and stayed home to comment or provide in-depth coverage of the NHL draft via twitter on the Canada Day long weekend instead of going camping or dredging out your basement if you live in Calgary you have bigger issues that need to be addressed.

Things are happening outside right now.

The only thing sadder than watching CTV News anchor report on whatever is going on with Justin Bieber would be a grown man who actually takes an active interest in the future employment opportunities of teenagers that have been groomed since birth to get paid way too much money to either shoot a puck or stop it. I defy any NHL prospect to actually admit that they dream of going right to one of the bottom feeders of the NHL, which is what makes the whole circus so funny. The top 50 players in the junior leagues are all but guaranteed huge contracts just by being picked by any of the 30 teams - and their signing bonus will most likely equal a year of your salary - but hey, that's hockey life - it doesn't mean we have to support it.

But, that being said...