Friday 30 May 2014

Congratulations to Alain Vigneault

No, I'm not expecting a Congratulations call from Mike. Why? 
It's hard to believe that it's been 20 years since the New York Rangers have been in the Stanley Cup Finals. It's been so long hardly anyone remembers what happened way back in 1994. Except this.

And now they are heading back there, having replaced hard-nosed, awesome-goatee'd John Tortorella with all-time winningest Canucks coach Alain Vigneault, so you can bet this guy feels like a bit of a douche.

The NHL media can only milk Marty St.Louis' mother's death for so long and the amazing commitment to the Cup it symbolizes. Now prepare to be inundated with images and reflections of twenty years ago as a litany of players who played for the NHL's largest US North American market (per capita) magically materialize out of where ever former NHL players go after they retire.

Thursday 29 May 2014

From the Canucks Dumpster Diving Team...

FROM THE DESK OF
VANCOUVER CANUCKS GENERAL MANAGER
MIKE GILLIS
JIM BENNING


TO DO;

Build Team Morale by 'wear your old jersey to work day' promotion.
Find old jersey    never mind. I was a lot smaller then. 
Get rid of current drafting system.
Find out if there is a current drafting system.
Hide my 2011 Stanley Cup ring in a safe place.
Ask custodial staff to remove the TSN bugs from Trevor's office.  
Ask them to remove Mike's motivational mirrors from my office.
Call Buffalo re; Cody. No takebacksies?
Find out who this Eddie Lack kid is. he's the goalie!! What happened there?
Inquire as to Jonas Gustavson (sp)? Free Agent?
Find out what NTC means besides all these players names.
Try not to mention Vigneault, Roberto, Cory, or Torts.
Buy a lot of umbrellas. Prob some gum boots as well.

Find new coach
what about a former player/coach (next Pat Roy)? 

Av?  still busy. 
Stan? 'not a fucking chance' so ... no.
Marcus? - not accepting calls ... probably a no.
Harold? - still have moustache? Unable to understand on phone.... would make for good press conferences. Will follow up.
Barry Trotz - still available? May be hard to see in dressing room
Kirk Muller - Pro; past Captain. Cup Winner. Can relate to Trev re; being traded.
Con; coached the Hurricanes. Not used to high scoring teams.
Adam Oates - Pro; has some experience dealing with superstars, likes to score. Not given good chance in Wash. Con; has some experience dealing with superstars.  
Peter Laviolette - Pro; been to Cup Finals Con; with Pronger-led Philadelphia team. Weird hair. 
Mike Keenan - be a good joke on Trevor. 
Messier - probably too far. 
Tom Renney - apparently been here already
Wayne? 3rd time's the charm!?






Saturday 24 May 2014

Retro Post - What you need to know, the nhl 2013

- just a blast from the past. As in last year. A rejected piece that will now see the light of the Internet for the first time. 

The National Hockey League is Crazy; What you Need to Know About the 2013 NHL Season


Is this a lock-out year or not?

  Looking to widen your sports knowledge to something outside of the local football league? Perhaps you are looking to butter up those Canadian tourists that wandered into your bar and will tend to tip way too much if someone mentions hockey around them. Whatever your reasons, welcome home.

 Last year I started submitting some posts to WhatCulture about the NHL, voted by 3o million Canadians, 54 Swedes, and Danny Taylor of Plymouth, England as being THE #1 hockey league in the world. The NHL stands to begin it’s 94th year of play (give or take) next month. And this year is no different as there is much excitement in the maple syrup-flavoured air, hockey-stank excitement. Nobody in Canada has been this excited about the NHL starting up since last season when it finally began after another epic Lock-Out, which will be discussed later.

 In what went down as the greatest Stanley Cup Finals ever played since 2012, the Chicago Blackhawks stunned the Boston Bruins with 2 goals in the final 90 seconds in Game 6 to clinch hockey’s greatest trophy. It was karmic retaliation of sorts, for the Bruins had earlier made the biggest comeback in history to defeat the Toronto Maple Leafs in Game 7 of a playoff series earlier which everybody outside of Toronto found hilarious. If none of that made any sense to you, welcome to…

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW OF THE NHL AS A NON-FAN;

Saturday 17 May 2014

The Final Four 2014

After a rousing, self-esteem building 7 of 8 correct playoff predictions, Ogie found himself a little sadder this evening, despite going 3 for 4 in the semi-finals. Not Teemu Selanne sad or even Milan Lucic 'I'm going to Kill You' sad. Just... more grounded. Maybe because I'm not a betting man but I would have made some pretty good coin in Vegas this year. It's just that Ogie's go-to contender Eastern contender the Bruins, and therefore Jarome Iginla, are out. In the West, the Ducks succumbed to the charismatic Darryl Sutter-led LA Kings. So no Stanley Cup being handed off to either Iginla or Selanne one last time as they fade out into hockey hall of fame sunset, which would have made for a nice 'Ray Bourque crying' 15 years later retrospective on TSN.

So the final four comes down to 'Conspiracy Alley'. Perhaps the four biggest hockey markets in all of NHL-land - New York, Chicago, Los Angeles and Canada. True, Canada  would have been there anyways but now, to the chagrin of most of English-speaking Canada, the Montreal Canadians are in the mix.

But yeaaaaa NHL public relations! We'll skip over the plethora of conspiracy theories out there. And by out there I mean on my notepad by the TV. Let's skip that LA goal that moved them past a stunned but consistently disappointing Joe Thornton-led San Jose Sharks. These anonymous refs that either let them play like they are in the 80's again or make them play like they are in the regular season again. I'm lucky to remember that in the 80-90's Hockey Referee Hall of Fame (if there is such a thing) legends Andy Van Hellemond, Bruce Hood, Terry Gregson, and even Kerry 'hair-helmet' Fraser wouldn't even bring their whistle out of the dressing room after the 2nd period intermission.  Man... those were the days...

But that's neither here nor there. Here is the Final Four! There is the golf course and summer cottages that so many NHL'rs now have to suffer in as these Final Four teams vy for Ogie's glory.

Friday 16 May 2014

5 Not Famous First films by Famous Directors

cannibal the musical


So you’ve read a few film books, watched a LOT of movies, maybe even cut together a couple cute videos of cats and posted them on Youtube. Your ultimate goal is to remake Con-Air or perhaps to create a superhero movie based on your best friend’s underground comic book. When people hear you say you want to be in the movies, they think you want to an actor. But you know where the action’s at; you want to be in charge of it all, you want to DIRECT.

Yet, like everything else, directing requires a multitude of skills much like every other job; do you get along with people? Are you a leader? Are you organized? Can you visually tell a story that is entertaining and noteworthy? Do you know what a green screen does and where you can get one for cheap?

Directing fame can come one of two ways; you can go the long, slow easy route; attend film school, maybe start working at an ad agency, create a demo reel, shop it around the film industry, find work directing second unit stuff, avoid porn and cocaine, gradually gain a reputation of steady and dependable craftmanship which will one day get you considered to helm a Zooey DeJulia Roberts rom-com script that is so safe that terrorists rent it to waylay suspicion.

Or, you can go big and go hard; find people of like mind willing to work long hours for nothing. Beg, borrow and steal the money needed to shoot your film with decent cinematography and actors. Believe in yourself and your movie, shoot and edit it by yourself while eating crackers and cream cheese then find a distribution deal. Repeat the process until you are awarded the recognition, star power and director’s cut privileges you so richly deserve.

Here are 5 directors that went Balls In, taking risky subject matter and convincing other people to give them money so that they could live their dream. The got investors to believe that once they had enough money to shoot their amazing script, it would be so good they would make their money back plus more upon the massive distribution deal.
These 5 have been selected due to their somewhat humble non-Hollywood beginnings, their inane first projects and their continuing upward career trajectory due in some part to their ability to continually challenge themselves and their skill set by creating innovative and interesting films that move the industry forward.

Thursday 8 May 2014

14 Subjectively Amazing Facts About... Marian Hossa

On a team that has it's fair share of marquee players, Marian Hossa is a bit of an oddity. Odd in that out of everyone on the Blackhawks, he has the most Stanley Cup experience. On a team overflowing in talent in pretty much every aspect of the game and on every line, Hossa has one amazing feat that goes relatively unnoticed; he has appeared in more Stanley Cup Finals in the last six years than anyone but Don Cherry and Ron MacLean.

Canada's most trusted news sources

Sure, on a team that has perennial all-stars Jonathon Toews, Patrick Kane, Duncan Keith hogging most of the media attention it's easy to forget that Hossa kind of takes his place along players like Patrick Sharp, Brent Seabrook, Corey Crawford and Brian Bickell. But he's the ultimate 'been-there/done-that' player when it comes to the Stanley Cup, playing in more Finals Series than anyone since the days of the Oilers Dynasty, when most of that nucleus missed only two Finals in the decade, allowing the Flames and the Canadiens to take home the Glory. But none of them played on three different teams to get there. In fact, since Marian joined the NHL in 98-99 he has missed the post-season only twice in his career, both times with the Atlanta Thrashers.   Click below to find out some other interesting facts about Chicago's other star.

Friday 2 May 2014

Round 1 Finally Finished!

Now normally, Ogie isn't one to be turned to when you want bold predictions. To be truthful, you shouldn't turn to anyone for betting advice. But that said, Ogie did pretty good on his first rounders, going 7 for 8 in the win column.

But now, shit gets serious.

In the East

Boston Bruins vs. Montreal Canadiens

                vs     





You probably don't know this as you've lived in a ditch in Louisiana your whole life but Boston and Montreal have one of the most storied rivalries in hockey. At one time a Boston/Montreal game was received with the same passion and fervor as Canada vs. USSR or Common Sense vs. the NRA. It's cooled somewhat over the years as Boston has won 9 of the last 11 match ups since the infamous Don Cherry Too Many Men Incident That He Doesn't Like To Bring Up More Than Four Times A Year.

On one side you have a perennial Stanley Cup contending team. On the other side you also have a perennial Stanley Cup contending team (if someone were to invent a time machine and go back to the seventies). Boston is loaded with Tukka Rask, Zdeno Chara and Milan Lucic. Montreal is loaded with Carey Price, P.K. Subban and a lot of Montreal Medical Men on standby.