Friday 31 July 2015

5 Cassette Tapes From My Past


You know you are getting older when you have to start using math to figure out how old you are...

And that being said, I'm getting older. This weekend, to be exact. I don't feel old. I am currently watching (and loving) Workaholics and I think Mad Max;Fury Road is the Movie of the Year. But my age betrays me, as does my body at times. I think others my age are sitting in front of their TVs watching Jeopardy and loving socially conscious movies like 12 Years A Slave (note-haven't seen it so not a critique). Perhaps they are thinking of how to maximize their RRSP contributions while I'm still trying to figure out what an RRSP is. All I know is there a level of shame I feel as I am not ready for old age at all. I don't have a retirement plan and only in the last few years am I understanding the cause and effect of putting beer and hot wings through my system without an adequate amount of fiber after.



But I digress, I recently found a couple of old cassette tapes that were in a box of checkers and it got me thinking of what 5 tapes from my childhood made me who I am today.

So what does that say? Is my age relative to my attitude? Is it a reflection of my interests? Am I still procrastinating on other, more important things? (yes) Do I have enough bank accounts? social media platforms? A big enough passion for golf and/or gardening? I don't know. Mentally, I don't feel any different from 10 years ago although my life has changed drastically since then. 10 years ago I was still holding onto a belief that 1 person could change my life for the better, if only I waited long enough. I finally decided to stop waiting on a glittered up memory and take what comes. After one big lesson on the problems of 'taking what comes', that right person did come along. And she has now brought along 2 other young mini-me's into existence and I am forever grateful. 34 year old me would never recognize me now. I do things I think would be a good idea, for the KIDS. I fall asleep before 11, for the KIDS. I trip on small little toys and don't throw them out for the KIDS. To keep my sanity, I write. Maybe this blog is for no other reason than for my kids to have an idea of what their poor old Dad was like in his mid-forties. He was a man who never fit in one mold. I'm caught in a multi-world of mortgage brokering, care aiding, daddying, home renovations, firefighting and writing (which is to keep my sanity and avoid the other occupations on this list).

 On the way to work tonight I put one of those cassette tapes into our SUV, which is old enough to still have a tape/CD combo. I'm hit with Clumsy by Our Lady Peace. And like an old person, I wonder where has the time gone? My memory of events is no longer 'remember when X did this' but more trying to remember what year 9/11 happened among other big news events. Where was I when the first black president was elected? When was Napster? Who won the Stanley Cup in 2007? Does anyone want to be reminded the panic around Y2K? (which reminds me I need to order an 'I survived Y2K' t-shirt).

My mixed tape was entitled Armageddon 1999. Blur, Radiohead, Our Lady Peace, A Barney Bentall version of 'You Shook Me All Night Long' the vastly overplayed ACDC song from my graduation year, Lenny Kravitz, some B-sides from U2. Memories of feelings, events, attitude. Funny how I still remember all that ... 'stuff'... of where I mentally was over 15 years ago. I remember I was trying to create a local access children's television show, justifying my film school diploma. I'd pull in front of the station on a Sunday afternoon with this tape playing in my battered 1986 Jeep and have the place to myself to do what I wanted. There, I would wonder just what the hell was I doing. Was I delaying or creating my future? And now 15 years later, I lean towards the former but I have to accept we are the sum of  our experiences.

That being said, here are a 5 of my most overplayed cassette tapes from my teens - which are the most influential time of your lives, apparently. These tapes outlasted countless knock off Walkmans with broken headphone jacks, broken cassette boxes, long walks and boring homework assignments. Heartbreaks, aimless dreams and that vast loneliness that is being a teenager.

Slade - Keep Your Hands Off My Power Supply


My god, i played this tape so much I have the lyrics memorized. This is the first tape which came to mind when I started thinking back on all the music I had at my disposal during the eighties. It's a tape that even now I think 'cool' then i play it and two songs in think 'man, this is so boring.' For some reason, my biggest memory with this tape is sitting on the roof of my childhood home, chipping fungus mold off of the shingles, thinking of a girl who I lacked the courage to talk to. Two great songs off this album; My Oh My, the mandatory power ballad and Run Runaway, which was covered by the amazing Great Big Sea and given a more Maritime feel.

Violent Femmes The Blind Leading The Naked


This was played in my bitchin' Camaro - a 76 Firebird. It was a short tape, I think just under 40 minutes which due to the frequency of my playing eventually lost its luster, even today. If I recall right, I was listening to Violent Femmes when i was nearly T-boned by a firetruck, sirens on but unseen due to a building on the corner. The quick attack of Old Mother Reagan starts it off but then 30 minutes later i'm wallowing in self-pity as the album ends with a montage of slow ballads such as Cold Canyon and Two People.

Faster Pussycat Kill, Kill, Kill


There was certainly a time and a place for men to wear make-up in public and that time was the eighties and that public space was a music stage. From Robert Smith and The Cure's heavy mascara to Poison's androgynous record cover, the sheer amount of hairspray, mascara and spandex that invaded our bedroom posters and record covers all but rescued Disco from being the most embarrassing musical genre of a generation.

Faster Pussycat was probably a mid-level semi-metal band with one catchy stutter rap/metal song called Babylon. I remember hearing this after a hockey game in the dressing room. It worked for me then, not so much now. Looking at this album cover, all I can see is a mash up of other semi-famous musician look-a-likes (from left; Simon LeBon, Steven Tyler, Ian Astbury from the Cult, Brett Michaels from Poison, and Slash's younger, less talented brother).


Motley Crue Theater Of Pain 


Motley Crue was the eighties. They were part of the new generation pushing out the 'Stadium Rock' 70's bands such as Styx, Journey, Foreigner. They were black leather and chains freakazoids, taking punk slightly more mainstream and they knew how to put on a show. They were the band you didn't want your parents to hear. But with the good came the bad and in that decade they were at the forefront of the metal hairspray mentality, ending their decade of power with pink spandex and more blush than eye liner. Theater of Pain wasn't their greatest album by any means, but it was classic Crue with the killer Power Ballad Home Sweet Home and a decent radio-friendly version of Smokin' In The Boys Room.
The only clear memory I have of this is listening to Home Sweet Home on the freeway into Vancouver. Images of cars and buildings going by.

U2 The Joshua Tree




Surprise. I'm a white guy from a middle income family so of course, The Joshua Tree was in my collection and overplayed because...moody aimless teenager. I first heard this through my best friend's older sister who was driving us somewhere at the time. I don't recollect where or even what the song was - only that she commented she really loved the album. And then I was hearing it everywhere.  
I remember I had a U2 concert T-shirt, something left behind by my much cooler cousin after one summer. While I don't have a certain memory of the album, I do remember wearing the T-shirt one night at an underage dance club. While dancing with a girl we were making some small talk and she said 'I love you too.' which i took to be quite forward but .. whatever - I'm an awkward teen going through puberty. So I said 'uh, thanks', and kissed her. We exchanged phone numbers and it wasn't until she borrowed that shirt from me and I never saw her again did i realize she most likely was stating she loved the band, not me personally. Although I did have some sweet dance moves at the time and a confusing hair cut so you can see my confusion. 

Well, that's it down memory lane tonight. Maybe next time I will try to recall my top albums. 

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