Friday 29 May 2015

The Other Off-Season Game Plan: The Columbus Blue Jackets

In which I hammer out my advice to NHL teams for free and without any proof to back it up, unlike Scott Cullen over at TSN, whose Off-Season Game Plan I am blatantly ripping from.

The Columbus Blue Jackets Edition

AKA The most huggable team in the Eastern Conference
First, in total honesty I have yet to figure out where Columbus is on a map. I know it is in Ohio but until recently I thought it was somewhere around Wyoming, the Saskatoon of America. Don't get me wrong, I love their flying rebel bumble bee logo and I also love Nic Foligno who I drafted lower-down in my hockey pool and who became one of my better players.

Columbus is known for 2 things. Hockey isn't one of them. It's in Ohio and named after the explorer that started a mass genocide of indigenous people 500 years ago that still has repercussions today, sor of like the NHL player's strike/walk out in 1992. And oh yeah, Rick Nash played there for 10 years.

Tuesday 26 May 2015

The Other Off-Season Game Plan - The Philadelphia Flyers Edition

In which Scott Cullen, TSN, stats blablahblah


The Philly Flyers. One of the most legendary teams in NHL history (who, much like the topic of banning fighting) resurfaces once every 10 years to play in (and lose) the Stanley Cup Finals. Since their loss in 2010 to that weird Patrick Kane goal that nobody but Kaner knew about, it's been all downhill from there. Perhaps it was Craig Berube's coaching strategy but this is a team that underachieved this year. Don't look for it to happen again.Unless their new coach turns out to be the Barry Melrose of 2015.

The good news? As patterns go, the Flyers hit the bottom of their decade cycle and they are climbing back to the top! Just as soon as they figure out how to do that.


Monday 25 May 2015

The Other Off-Season Game Plan - The New Jersey Devils

In which I read Scott Cullen's thoughts on TSN and bla blah blah - with no statistics to back it up.

The New Jersey Devils Edition

Philly fans REALLY didn't appreciate that.

 The Devils. The third corner of the NHL's biggest market. The team that made 'neutral zone trap' famous and 'Lindros! Heads up!' the last thing Eric heard on many a game day.



While it was only three years ago Marty took one last stab at a Stanley Cup, they have yet to make the playoffs since. While they did have some foresight in trading for Cory Schneider to replace the 'Will Have to Retire Someday' All-Star Martin Brodeur, they unfortunately haven't been able to do much more, and still rely on former top guns Patrick Elias (20 yrs a devil), Travis Zajac and Danius Zubrus to lead a rag-tag collection of 2nd line veterans and young defense in the hopes of one day finding a Scott Stevens or Niedermayer in the rough.

Saturday 23 May 2015

The Other Off-Season Game Plan - The Carolina Hurricanes Edition

In which Ogie gives another viewpoint of what needs to be done in the off-season, flagrantly lifting the idea off Scott Cullen of TSN. Only, without having any statistics to back up his plan...

The Carolina Hurricanes AKA The Arizona Coyotes of the East

Remember when the Carolina Hurricanes were relevant? No? Maybe because they never were. Ever since their move down the coast from Hartford, Carolina has lived on borrowed time. Yes, they won a Stanley Cup but even that was in one of the most boring years in recent memory. The biggest headline of the year was Steve Irwin dying (which was admittedly very tragic) and the year Facebook debuted to a mass audience.

If you are too lazy to click, it was in 2006, the year after the NHL owners locked out the players for a year, causing an avalanche of players to retire and find real work, including a handful of decent European goalies who decided to stay home; Irbe, Salo, Turek, Cechmanek are all familiar names to those who remember the dark days. Besides a lot of fringe players, former All-Star Players put out to pasture included Mark Messier, Brett Hull, Adam Oates, Scott Stevens, Al MacInnis, Vinnie Damphousse, Steve Thomas, Igor Larionov, Cliff Ronning and Felix Potvin.

Ron Francis also retired before the 2006 season. He is often regarded as the person people are least likely to know is the 4th leading scorer all-time and 2nd only to Wayne Gretzky in assists ended his career with Carolina and is currently part-owner and general manager of the Hurricanes.

I tell you all this because it's way more interesting than talking about the present-day Hurricanes.

Head Coach 

Yes. They appear to be sticking with Bill Peters, so that's a step up from many of the other teams the Hurricanes would be considered competitive with. Nobody expects much of this team at the moment so consider that job security. It would take a pretty long losing streak to put his job in jeopardy. Or if he had a Jon Tortorella type personality. But he doesn't.

Seriously, how could anyone fire this guy? 
Forwards

Well, there's 1/2 the Stall brothers in Carolina so they have that going for them. Neither had a stellar year so they have that going against them. Th younger of the two, Jordan, played only 46 games and contributed 6 goals. Captain Eric is in the last year of his whopping $8.25 million contract and if you don't think he's going to be having a better year, better call his accountant.
One also pays less in razors.
Jeff Skinner, if healthy, provides a decent 2nd liner. Victor Fask is also someone to consider in your hockey pool if +/- isn't a category. Nathan Gerbe, the shortest guy in the league (I think) should be able to provide a bit more offense this year as well and let's just pretend we don't remember Alex Semin in also on this team.

Nathan Gerbe is the one on the right...
Defense

Jean-Michael Liles and Ron Hainsey are the stalwart veterans. Justin Faulk is a future All-Star. But that's about it. Anybody recall anyone else on the blue line?

Goalies

Cam Ward is still living off his Stanley Cup win in 2006 and Carolina has never made a threatening move towards suggesting he will not be the continuing #1 goaltender. That's a problem.


My #1 Priority - Actual Hurricanes if I were to move there.
My #2 Priority - Deciding whether to trade or sign Eric Staal before the Trade Deadline
My #3 Priority - Getting a strong defensive corps and finding a goalie to challenge Ward for #!

Sunday 10 May 2015

The Other Off-Season Game Plan - The Toronto Maple Leafs Edition

Here I am only 5 teams into this and I'm feeling the heat. And by heat I mean futility. This is hard work, dissecting these losing teams and coming up with some advice that will never be used by the team in question. I sometimes wonder how Scott Cullen at TSN is able to do this, especially when he tries to factor in statistics like 'points allowed when Patrick Kane is on the Ice' aka PAPKI. Then I remember he's getting paid to write and has many hours to sit at his desk and surf all the relevant websites to find evidence to back up his decisions. I also realize that the further up the points chain I go, the dissection will be easier. Chicago should be nothing more than a simple three word entry; 'All Good here'.  But then I have to find the pictures which is really half the fun but also where the real work happens.

On the other hand I have a job that allows me to write when all is quiet because technically I'm not allowed to sleep on shift.

So speaking of going to sleep, let's talk about TSN's favourite team to hate; The Toronto Maple Leafs!



Saturday 9 May 2015

The Other Off Season Game Plan - The Arizona Coyotes Edition

Big disclaimer - I know very little about hockey as compared to Scott Cullen, residential fanatic analytic expert (read; stats geek) over at TSN. But I do have some time, access to the Internet and like to write about things of little interest to most people but not about stats. So here is my off season game plan for the Arizona Coyotes, part 3 of 30.

'Hey Arizona, I'm in the Offensive zona!'
The Arizona Coyotes formerly Phoenix formerly The Original Winnipeg Jets

Arizona is known for two things and hockey isn't one of them. The Coyotes probably lead the league in Away games as it seems most of the people who attend games are there on vacation so they can have an affordable chance to see their favourite team play. It is cheaper to buy plane fare, a hotel room and Coyote tickets than it would be to see the Canucks, Maple Leafs or Canadiens play in their respective home buildings. Plus going to an NHL game allows visiting Arizona-ites to escape the Arizona heat and just the fact they live in Arizona.

Even the real coyotes seek to escape the heat
That said, even with their ambivalent fan base, Arizona had a strange year. It was like they heard about the David McConnor thing late and decided to get in on the bit of action at around Christmas time and summarily tanked hard. This was a bit hard to take for Yotes fans as they did pretty well in previous year's playoffs. They had an all-star goalie in Mike Smith, capable back-up in Devan Dubynk ad a stellar one-two punch in offensive defencemen with Keith Yandle and Oliver Ekmans-Larson. Then there was hockey rock star (by Arizona standards) Paul Bisonnette aka BizNastie. But BizNastie retired (I think) before the season started, they traded away Keith Yandle at the deadline and Mike Smith became average. They were close to winning the McDavid sweepstakes, only missing dead last by 2 points and if nothing else, a chance to get the other golden boy, Jake Eichel. But who are they going to pick for third? Probably some nobody...

But mostly they suffered from having to play in Arizo- um, the Western Conference. I mean... come on - look at that side. There was the surprising Flames success, the return to winning form of the Canucks, Chicago, St. Louis, Nashville, Anaheim, and The Minnesota Dubynk. Well, they all have to beat someone and that usually was Arizona.

Authentic current Coyote player
Head Coach

Currently Dave Tippett

Dave shouldn't be going anywhere and nobody expects him to (much like the Coyotes next year in the standings). He's had to watch Keith Yandle and Antoine Vermette be traded away at the deadline by the current Coyote owners (I have long lost interest in who won the lottery to own the Coyotes aka NHL code-name 'Anyone but Jim Balsillie' and is making do with a team that isn't exactly under-performing.
Plus, he has this crazy-looking dog he keeps in his office..
He's a good coach with a mediocre team that will continue to primarily fill the NHL void of having a stop-over for teams going to play in Dallas or California. He would do well to remember that the Jet/Coyote franchise is historically a yo-yo of yearly points production and after this year's poor performance should improve next year as nobody is expecting them to. They could be like the 2014 Colorado Avalanche, only without the talent.

Forwards
Someone's trying the famous Arizona peyote, I think.
The Coyotes have a group of forwards that no opponent fears and that is a problem. When their biggest concern is wondering if Sam Gagner will ever pull another 8 point night or if Shane Doan might begin telling stories that start with "I remember when..." then things are looking pretty good when a visiting team heads Arizona way. Most casual fans will be hard-pressed to name three forwards on their team but will believe that they have a pretty decent team if Arizona is in Europe (which it is not).


One of the 'Yotes seasoned veterans encouraging one of
the younger defencemen on the bench.
Defencemen

After releasing Yandle to go try out the Big City lights of the New York Rangers, its up to Oliver E-L to shoulder most of the defensive and offensive responsibility. Mike Stone is capable but the problem really lies in that they have no truly NHL ready defencemen to help OE-L. If only someone like Johnny Oduya was available to relieve that pressure.






Goalies

Will the REAL Mike Smith please stand up,
please stand up,
please stand up.

Mike Smith is still the undisputed #1 goalie and don't expect that to change anytime soon. See;Devan Dubnyk.  He should be sending Mike a Thank You and Merry Christmas card every year from now on. It would be a good idea for Arizona to acquire a quality 2nd string or even 3rd string goaltender to let Mike get some rest next year as it looks to be a busy time in the defensive end of the 'Yotes.


 Overall 

My #1 Priority - Getting Out of Arizona
My #2 Priority - Getting 6 ready-to-play defencemen
My #3 Priority - A back up goaltender who is funny on Twitter

Really, just about any goalie will do.

Sunday 3 May 2015

The Other Off Season Game Plan - Sabres Edition

Big disclaimer - I know very little about hockey as compared to Scott Cullen, residential fanatic analytic expert (read; stats geek) over at TSN. But I do have an armchair and computer and also like to sit in front of it from time to time and think about our great game of hockey and the Buffalo Sabres. So when I read that Scott is pulling together his personal game plan for each team in the NHL, I thought I would do the same, only not get paid for it.

Not exactly a happy bunch last year
But to do what Scott does it would mean I have some idea of what Scott is saying and either agree or disagree with him. I don't know any of these new stats that is all the talk this year; a SAT%REL looks to me like some type of code for NASA or perhaps a tricky algebra answer. I'm just an outsider looking in, kinda like your girlfriend's best friend that you put up with because you have to and don't want to appear rude although you know she hates you. Sort of like how Connor McDavid must feel after the lottery.

So let's see what we can do to fix the second prettiest girl at the ball, The Buffalo Sabres.

Saturday 2 May 2015

The Other Off Season Game Plan - Oilers Edition

Big disclaimer - I know very little about hockey as compared to Scott Cullen, residential fanatic analytic expert (read; stats geek) over at TSN. But I do have an armchair and computer and also like to sit in front of it from time to time and think about our great game of hockey. So when I read that Scott is pulling together his personal game plan for each team in the NHL, I thought I would do the same, only not get paid for it.

But to do what Scott does it would mean I have some idea of what Scott is saying and either agree or disagree with him. I don't know any of these new stats that is all the talk this year. To me a Corsi will always be that type of dog the Queen has or a small moped. Nor do I know anything about the Oilers farm team or for that matter, anything about the team's morale. I'm just an outsider looking in, kinda like an unwanted therapist or that drunk guy sitting alone at the bar who wants to join your conversation but you don't want to appear rude.

So let's start with his first team to suffer the wrath of the new rage of analytic analysis for anal analytics; The Edmonton Oilers.