Friday 31 July 2015

5 Cassette Tapes From My Past


You know you are getting older when you have to start using math to figure out how old you are...

And that being said, I'm getting older. This weekend, to be exact. I don't feel old. I am currently watching (and loving) Workaholics and I think Mad Max;Fury Road is the Movie of the Year. But my age betrays me, as does my body at times. I think others my age are sitting in front of their TVs watching Jeopardy and loving socially conscious movies like 12 Years A Slave (note-haven't seen it so not a critique). Perhaps they are thinking of how to maximize their RRSP contributions while I'm still trying to figure out what an RRSP is. All I know is there a level of shame I feel as I am not ready for old age at all. I don't have a retirement plan and only in the last few years am I understanding the cause and effect of putting beer and hot wings through my system without an adequate amount of fiber after.

Thursday 16 July 2015

Off Season Game Plan Dallas Stars Edition

Dallas. Where the men are either steers or queers. Remember when the Bruins sent Tyler Seguin, aka not Taylor Hall for Loui Eriksson to the Lone Star state to up the steer ratio and number of recent Stanley Cup winners on the team by 1? Dallas girls got ready to party.

unfortunately, they also brought their
less attractive friend to the games as well

He joined a relatively unheard of Jaime Benn to create a scoring force of extraordinary magnitude - so extraordinary that Jaime Benn wound up winning the Art Ross trophy, a trophy usually reserved for one of the 'elite' scorers of the NHL who people with some small knowledge have heard of him, so good for him for bringing the first major award to Dallas since the Mike Modano/Ken Hitchcock days.

Thursday 9 July 2015

Off Season Game Plan The Florida Panthers Edition

In which blahblahblah...

Florida Panthers. Tampa Bay's older, less successful brother. He's the NHL equivalent of the bartender who remembers what it was like in the 'good ol' days' and is having a mid-life crisis because of how successful his younger brother is. Kinda like JD's brother in Scrubs. You know, the guy who played Ed and the guy who mentors the Flash?

Saturday 4 July 2015

10 Radio-Friendly Songs About Murdering Someone

To celebrate passing 30,000 views with little to no idea of how to do social marketing of this blog, here's one of my favourites. I believe it was the third thing I ever had web-published, the first one I pitched to a faceless Internet website editor. The first two were an essay on Arrested Development and Actors in Need of a Kick Start, respectively. But this one was the first accepted pitch and I think is indicative of my writing; serious subject matter with an absurd twist. Enjoy and thanks! 


9 10 Radio-Friendly Songs About Murder


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To be clear, this article does not condone murder. Using the word ‘murder’ in any state, be it past, present, or future tense on your Facebook status will create no amount of issues somewhere down the line so it’s best to never use it. Ever. Or do it, double ever. There is a little-used caveat for artists because they can pretend to do it consequence-free as poetic license. It’s in the Artist’s Charter (near the back).

Friday 3 July 2015

The Reddit Implosion


Reddit, formally known as the 'front page of the Internet' has been suffering some major popcorn drama in recent weeks. Perhaps thought of as the pinnacle of what the Internet can be, it has taken on a life of its own, mirroring the hypocrisy, challenges and tribulations of 'Murica and their stance on free speech. Here is a link to the situation.

Thursday 2 July 2015

The Off-Season Game Plan: The Colorado Avalanche Edition

In which I realize I can't possibly have a life and keep up to Scott Cullen, who does these over at TSN and gets paid. So I do it for fun and practice.

The Colorado Avalanche aka The Return of the King Year 3

It was the best of times. After several below par seasons, Avalanche all-star Joe Sakic reached out to another former Colorado all-star. King Patrick Roy returned to the NHL after a semi-successful training session in Junior as father/coach. While he successfully jumped back into the NHL, his two sons have found truer callings and conveniently forget to send him Father's Day cards (maybe, what do I know?). Post note Bobby Nadreau no longer pretends to be invisible to avoid conflict.


King Roy arrived in Denver with his customary flash - losing his shit in his first (?) game with Bruce Boudreau.